Longing For Solitude

Pen and ink contemporary fine art by Doug Ashby

Solitude: 1. the state or situation of being alone. 2. a lonely or uninhabited space.

Lately I have been thinking quite a bit about signaling. Specifically with regard to what it might be I am trying to tell myself trough my work. What exactly is it that I am conjuring that has meaning for me. It is an especially difficult thing to discover and as an artist, like many before me, I feel that this can be a never ending pursuit. However I feel that I am starting to hone in a bit with regard to specific themes that keep reemerging. That of solitude.

I need to be a little cautionary here. I hope what I am about to say does not come off as horrible. A few years back I began complaining to my wife about the noise. How I just wanted to escape the noise. If you do not know already I am a middle school art teacher as well as an artist. I have been doing that job now for twenty three years. It can be a very noisy and chaotic environment. One that has compounded significantly over the past decade or so. In addition I am also a parent. I have a twenty two year old and a ten year old. The older one is mostly a quite factor in the house, not always though. Our ten year old however is a mighty force to be reckoned with.

Here is where I need to be clear. I very much love my children. For me though, as an artist, it is important for me to have moments of quite, or solitude, to think and create. I believe that many of the images I have created over the last five years or so are an effort to find that space. A desire if you will to create an environment I long so much for but have such a difficult time finding. It has little to do with the landscape itself, although I do enjoy the juxtapositions, but the feeling of tranquility and quite contemplation that I am striving to invoke that has meaning. I want to go into those spaces internally as a way to find what it is I am longing for.

Last year I was on leave for a long period of time from teaching. My father was in his last stages of life and I wanted to have the time and space to travel to be with him and my family as often as I wanted and for extended periods of time. In those days when I was home though I had the house to myself. I was able to create a lot of work and more importantly I was far less stressed. Alas though maintaining that lifestyle and providing for a family are challenging to marry. But I will keep trying.

In the meantime I feel like I have cracked open a window, or looked through a new lens, that will have a direct bearing on my work and how I proceed from here. As we artists know though the future is always unpredictable and new paths will emerge that I have to be open to. It is important to embrace the uncertainty in order to go as deep as one can. I feel though for a while I will continue to mine the idea of solitude, it will just have to flow where it may want to go. It is my job to allow that current to take me along.

As always I hope you like the art and the writing.

Thanks,

Doug